just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
