i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
