Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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