sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
