If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
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