I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
