Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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