Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
