why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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