I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
two words: eviction party
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
