i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
