But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
