Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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