he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
