Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
