No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
