It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
