Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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