Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
