I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
