Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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