wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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