How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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