The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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