Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
