For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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