dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just had sex on a roof
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
