whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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