Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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