Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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