This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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