Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
