Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
