dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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