I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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