his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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