Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Randomize
