Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sorry about my life...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
