my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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