Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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