Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
