The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
