We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
