The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
