you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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