Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
