people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
