I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
