Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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