just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
