wakey wakey hands off snakey
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
