dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
